22 January 2007

Enter The Dragons

So there I was in my usual position, prone - or was it supine? - at the beach, when a sudden rattling in the rocks and undergrowth just behind my head announced the arrival of a visitor, whom you'll see pictured to your left.

I jumped a bit, well, as much as my posture and lethargic state of being would allow, and then noticed that the creature in question a) though sitting uncomfortably close to me, didn't seem to be threatening to attack; and b) looked rather a lot like a dragon.

Which is as it should, apparently, because when I got back to town and did a quick check, I discovered that my new friend was indeed called a dragon lizard. I haven't yet looked up whether they're aggressive and/or poisonous, as I plan on going back to the same beach again and would prefer not to know if I am putting myself in mortal danger by doing so.

Anyway, this particular dragon's interest was apparently piqued by the green grapes I was eating, though I didn't realise this until, in a fit of mindless generosity, I tossed one of the smaller and less flavourful grapes up into the bush (more in hopes of persuading it to hang out somewhere other than my immediate vicinity than out of any great spirit of friendliness on my part), and the dragon was on it like a shot. That was cute, I thought, and tossed another grape, but this time, before my new friend could move a muscle to snaffle it up, a second, bigger dragon came tearing out of the rocks some 3 metres/10 feet away, practically knocking both the smaller dragon and myself off our perches on the rocky outcropping in his haste to reserve the grape for himself.

Then the stupid thing didn't even eat it, just sat there glaring at it, as if to say, "I dare you to even think about eating that grape" to the smaller dragon, and "Don't think you're going to take that grape back and give it to pipsqueak here, not if you value your fingers, anyway," to me. Flummoxed for the moment, as well as a bit outraged over the injustice of it all, I decided to flip yet another grape to the smaller dragon when the big mean one wasn't looking. It landed on a rock right in front of him, but then rolled back down across my blanket, followed immediately by frantic little dragon, who was in such a hurry to get at it that he slammed head on into my leg.

This caused me to jump high enough in the air to elicit loud laughter from pretty much everyone else on the beach, at which point I decided I was done playing with dragons. They, however, weren't done with me, and sat, one at each end of me, staring balefully and waiting for another grape to put in an appearance, for at least another hour, at which point the wind shifted, the clouds came rolling in, and I climbed back up the cliff, leaving the denizens of Reptile World to their own devices.

And I swear this is not related, but about an hour after I got back to town, my phone rang, and it was one of my favourite bands in the world, the Spazzys, just arrived in Sydney for their appearance at Thursday's Big Day Out (Australia's version of Lollapalooza/Coachella/that sort of thing). Big Day Out has been all over the news the past two days anyway because of its organisers' attempt to discourage fans from bringing Australian flags to the event after some unpleasant events involving self-styled ultra-patriot yobbos last year. Since then the media have been going crazy and even the Prime Minister has weighed in with the opinion that if the Big Day Out were going to ban the Aussie flag, Big Day itself ought to be banned.

None of this will happen, of course; BDO is too big an event for a little kerfuffle over a flag to scupper things. By tonight, everyone was backtracking, flags will be allowed, and any further trouble will probably have to be stirred up by the Spazzys. And they're off to a good start already; not only was a picture of Lucy Spazzy featured in the background on the national news as the announcer read the story about the flag brouhaha, but Ally Spazzy, only one show into the tour, has already gotten in a fight with the drummer of Jet, one of Australia's biggest bands, and flipped the bird at Brandon Flowers when everyone else backstage was applauding his performance with The Killers ("I thought he needed to see a little balance," she explained). Apparently there were also some shenanigans involving chairs falling from the 19th floor of a Queensland hotel ("To settle a physics discussion among some of the local intellectuals," according to Kat Spazzy), and some equipment that went flying at fans gathered for a photo shoot (details are vague about this particular incident). I've been invited to come along for the festivities on Thursday, but am wondering if I'd be better off heading back to the beach and taking my chances among the dragons.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It would be better reading for all of us if you went,I think. Don't get me wrong, blogs about dragons are fascinating but...

Anonymous said...

Did you know chickens like grapes? I just found that out this summer. Amazing.

Anonymous said...

The flag debate about BDO is so pointless, and the media has thrown it way out of proportion. as usual.

as for green grapes, I just ate some, and I can see why dragons like them so much.

Anonymous said...

Hello Anonymous! Green grapes give you the skitters. Just ask the Joads!!

crg said...

Great story! What was the size of those dragons? What are the odds of getting bitten?

Anonymous said...

I miss the Spazzys! Tell them to come and see us again soon.