09 May 2007

The Trials Of The Aristocracy

The years haven't been kind to Mr. and Mrs. Sting, all that tantric sex notwithstanding, at least judging from this photo. But then can you blame the poor dears for looking a little careworn, given the terrible problems they've had to endure with the household staff. Why, it was bad enough having to ferry their chef back and forth from Salisbury to London whenever Mrs. Stink, er, Sting, felt the need of a sandwich, but then what should the ungrateful wench (that's the chef, not Mrs. Sti... never mind) do but go and fall pregnant? The nerve of the woman, and with the Stinks then stuck having to muddle through with a skeleton staff of two nannies, two housekeepers and just one butler!

Naturally the woman had to be sacked, and now adding insult to injury, the Stinks have been found guilty of unfair labor practices by some Defargian employment tribunal, and may have to pay out hundreds of thousands in compensation to the recalcitrant and obstreperous chef. It's enough to make you wonder why such good and gracious members of the nobility continue to endure the trials and tribulations of living in Bolshevik Britain when all they're likely to receive in return is this sort of abuse.

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