15 December 2006

Now Go Do The Right Thing

When Dr. Frank made a no-comment-necessary post about the Dr. Laura Talking Action Figure, I was amused but not informed, since as an inveterate Dr. Laura fan, I was well aware of said action figure. The acerbic radio shrink has been plugging it mercilessly on her show since last summer, prompting me reflect on occasion as to what sort of person would buy, um, this sort of thing.

Well, now I know, because as of last night, I am the proud owner of a Dr. Laura Talking Action Figure (23 different phrases, highly anticipated, and batteries included, according to her website). In fact, it turns out that Frank's initial impetus for posting about it had come when, hanging about at El Cerrito's trendy hideaway the Mel-O-Dee, Erika Little Type had shown him what was about to become my Christmas present.

I found it waiting for me - elegantly and tastefully wrapped, of course - on my plate when my mother and I arrived at chez Little Type for last night's dinner party, and though our merry little party of four was never at a loss for sprightly and stimulating conversation, Dr. Laura and her often highly germane comments very nearly made it a fifth. My mother had never heard Dr. Laura before, but now claims she's going to try listening to her, though as a very liberal proponent of the "If you can't say something nice..." school, I don't think she's likely to become a fan. Patrick, on the other hand, surprised me by allowing as how Dr. L did speak a fair bit of common sense. Having grown up in the intellectually squishy Bay Area, he's usually less given to flat statements of moral certitude than, say, Erika and I, with our no-nonsense Midwestern backgrounds. And if you ask why my mother, hailing from the same part of the world, is less likely to agree with Dr. Laura's contention that, "Sometimes it is a matter of black and white," well, she's originally Canadian and still hasn't forgiven Franklin Roosevelt for getting us involved in that awful war.

In other matters much kudos accrues (sorry, I can't help using "kudos" in the singular British sense, wherein it means something akin to "cred" rather than the American plural, where it's a synonym for "accolades") to Erika for putting an excellent pre-Christmas dinner party which also doubled as a dual birthday celebration for Patrick and my mom (123 years between them, so we dispensed with candles on the outstanding chocolate cake that I can still taste in fond memory the following morning). Oh, and since I'll be away for the next three months before (at last) taking up residence in my new home in New York City, I made the rather wrenching decision to let Dr. Laura stay with Patrick and Erika until my return. No sense in letting her sit in an empty room all that time when she can be dispensing wisdom to all and sundry who come tripping across the Little Type threshold. So now she sits, orthodox but ecumenical Jew, under the beautiful Little Type Christmas tree, and I can only hope (but probably not expect) that her batteries hold out until my return.

P.S. I'll save Erika the trouble of posting a comment about the astounding nature of the DLTAF's hairdo. Um, yes, it is truly impressive, in a Great Natural Disasters sort of way.

6 comments:

Psmith said...

Oh geez, you're a fan of Dr. Laura's radio show?

Hopefully three months in Australia will wean you off that.

Larry Livermore said...

Au contraire. No doubt I will be able to continue to listen to her via the magic of the internet.

Psmith said...

Oh great, they have the internet in Australia now?

Larry Livermore said...

Patrick Smith, ladies and gentlemen. He'll be here all week. Longer, if we can't figure out a way to get rid of him.

erika said...

I burnt the bread and set off the smoke alarm, too. :)

jb. said...

Next time you're visiting Montreal, bring wee Laura. She can chum up with my small, plastic Ann Coulter. Also given by someone who loves me.