Dancers Of Size

Also from last week's Bay Guardian: this smirking little piece about Frisco's much-vaunted unionized strip joint, run, ever since a strike and coup d'état some years back, by its strippers and janitors. Now, however, it seems that socialism in stripping may have bumped up against the same economic brick wall that has confounded most other socialist experiments in recent history.

It might not be down to the classical mismanagement of a planned economy, though; the Lusty Lady's problems might be more succinctly summed up by the Yogi Berra-ism: "If people don't want to come, you can't stop them."

But isn't there always a near-limitless market for scantily (or not-at-all) clad female flesh? Not, apparently, if like the Lusty Lady, you adhere to "a broader vision of female beauty." Or as one male employee less gallantly puts it, "People come asking for refunds because they do not want to see girls that they would not want to have sex with even if they were completely drunk."

It must only be a matter of time before a similar trend emerges in professional sports, where teams are unionized, and it's no longer important whether you win or lose as long as the team adheres to "a broader vision of atheletic ability." Come to think of it, I've been supporting and buying season tickets to see just such a team for many years now. Roll on, mighty Fulham!