03 September 2006

It's Not Easy Being Thick

Or so Kirk, long-suffering but lovable dolt, declares on tonight's episode of Coronation Street. He's going for the sympathy vote in his attempt to win back the affections of bolshie but also lovable strumpet Fiz, who had given him the boot for being too predictable and not romantic enough (yes, I know, we've all been there).

Kirk, wily grafter that he is (well, not really, but, he is, as he acknowledges, "bright enough to know I'm stupid"), counters by presenting Fiz with some allegedly original love poetry that turns out to have been cribbed from some Bread lyrics, and is busted when former entertainer Rita comes strolling into the Rovers singing that very tune (the very first time in 20 years Rita has spontaneously burst into song; what are the odds?) just as Fiz is daubing at the tears inspired by Kirk's newfound eloquence. Kirk's ready admission of guilt, his abject apology, and the above-cited plea for tolerance of the mentally handicapped do the trick, and he and Fiz live to canoodle another day.

Which is more than can be hoped for with most of the Street's star-crossed characters, but only serves to illustrate once more Oscar Wilde's dictum, "The good end happily, the bad unhappily; that is what fiction means." It's also why Coronation Street is miles ahead of EastEnders or any other show of its type, and one of the things I will miss most about England. In fact, I think one could make a case (and were it not so late at night, I might try this myself) for Coronation Street being so English that England itself sometimes seems but a pale simulacrum.*

*Yes, I know that's the second time I've used "simulacrum" in a week, and yes, I know that's no more acceptable than Wilde's using "tremulous" seven times in the first 100 pages of The Picture of Dorian Gray. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive him, please consider doing me the same courtesy, and I promise not to let it happen again.


Patrick said...

I understand your posts a lot more when you're in NY.

kendra said...

ha! larry, now do you understand what i meant when i said charlie and maria?

i like kirk. he is thick, but not malicious, and fiz takes care of him. they're my second favourite corrie couple. jack and vera are no.1.

dirt_trail_runner said...


whatever happened to andrew asp and the nuisance guys? this time of year, sept. through october, the two nuisance lp's and the "humboldt county" soundtrack pretty much become my soundtrack. any of the guys still making music worth checking out? btw, i do have the cropduster lp, which is quite good.

dirt_trail_runner said...

"humboldt county" 7" rather.

Larry Livermore said...

Dirt Trail Runner: Nuisance was my soundtrack as well during my helicopter days* in Northern Mendocino; I loved the band especially because they captured that uniquely Humboldt essence so perfectly. Ironically, most of their playing and recording was done in faraway Santa Rosa rather than the Humboldt Hills, but oh well... Andrew went on to play with The Pattern, composed of some really excellent musicians, but who played a kind of hipster garage-rock that wasn't really my cup of tea. That band eventually broke up, and I don't know what he's doing these days.

*semi-subtle Nuisance reference

Larry Livermore said...

Kendra: I've read a few references in the press here to the scandal of Charlie and Maria, but the couple have been nowhere in evidence on this week's shows. Have they run away from the Street? Or just lurking, as Charlie is so good at doing?

In any event, if Maria gets in too deep with Charlie, do you think we can count on Kirk to come to the rescue?

Anonymous said...

If you like Coronation Street, you might like to have a look at http://www.corrieblog.tv

Flaming Nora!